in that instant it started to pour

i just really want to avoid real life and move into my apartment in normal. id be so much happier. things are just nicer there. kind of. ha. i’m an idiot.

letting go of someone you love is really hard. ive done a lot of it in the past month and a half, and im really trying to grow. for awhlie i felt like i was in cardboard box trying to stretch my arms out really wide and i just got tangled and trapped and i would end up tipping over.

this summer is going to be very interesting, and im going to do a lot of new things and open myself up and try and get rid of all the toxins that have made me crawl into my head and curl up in a ball and stay there.

there will be roadtrips, hanging out with my mom, bike rides, picnics, and train rides. even if it means doing these things by myself.

i haven’t been by myself in almost five years, here’s to new beginnings.

whenever i listen to elliott smith i feel like i have to defend myself some how.

YEAH, THIS IS ELLIOTT SMITH. NO, I’M OKAY. REALLY! I PROMISE

i am never going to feel normal again. half of where i came from is gone forever.